Unlike other times of the year, summer movie season has a certain imperative to it. While I can rent a copy of Zodiac months late and still have the same enrapturing experience I would have had in the theatre, a summer movie is really best enjoyed on the largest screen possible and with a somewhat rowdy audience. This summer is absolutely packed with movies, and some of them are so mindbogglingly stupid that I might have to use tricks to get people to come and see them with me.
May 2:
Iron Man
This one will be fairly easy. There's a good amount of buzz going around about it and people seem interested. Also, as the first blockbuster of the season, people aren't fatigued yet.
May 9:
Speed Racer
And we run into trouble right here. Ostensibly a kids movie and a crack dream at the same time, Speed Racer doesn't appeal to everyone. Personally I really want to see the epic acid-trippy primary-colour car-orgy being sold here, but others might not be as interested.
May 16:
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Eh, I could take or leave this one, but I'm kind of interested because I absolutely do not remember the plot of Caspian. There is fighting, and this is where the talking mouse Reep-a-cheep shows up I think.
May 23:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
This one is easy, everyone wants to see a new Indiana Jones movie. The real challenge is getting them to wait until Saturday to see it (I work Friday nights).
June 13:
The Incredible Hulk
A few weeks off (the Sex and the City movie is in between) leads us to our first double week. I secretly really want to see the new Hulk movie. Yes the directing will be workman like compared to Ang Lee's Hulk (by far the most visually interesting modern superhero movie regardless of what you felt about the overall product), and the movie is supposedly 1/5th fight scene (set on Younge Street, New York). But that doesn't matter. The 13-year-old inside of me wants to see Hulk Smash.
The Happening
Even harder to sell than The Incredible Hulk, The Happening is the latest from pretentious genre auteur M. Night Shyamalan. I found something to like in three of Shyamalan's major releases (with two being good movies), and I'm interested to see if he can pull his career together.
June 20:
Get Smart
I think that Carrel can make this work. And I have a soft spot for the Rock. Also I don't want The Love Guru to win the weekend.
June 27:
Wall•E
This Pixar animated movie has almost no talking (or characters at all other than the titular Wall•E) for, supposedly, the first third to half of the film. Hopefully I can convince people that to go to a kids movie with no talking. I think the novelty may do it.
July 4:
Hancock
The good-olde July 4th Will Smith movie. Sure this looks stupider than stupid ... but he picks up a whale and throws it into a boat! Woooo! Woooo!
July 11:
Hellboy II
Being sandwiched between Hancock and The Dark Knight isn't the greatest for Hellboy II's chances, either in the box office or for getting my friends to see it with me. The first movie was fine, if unexceptional, but the second doesn't have to be bogged down by introductory origin crap. Also evil Nazis and Cthulhu.
July 18:
The Dark Knight
This one won't be a problem. Even those who didn't like Christopher Nolan's 2005 take on Batman will probably want to see Heath Ledger's final role. Next!
July 25:
X Files: I Want To Believe
The problem here is that a) many people left the X Files with a fairly sour taste in their mouths (people say it was the last two seasons, but it was really the last four or so) b) the show has so much baggage from the mythology episodes that no one knows what's going on and c) many people are unaware this is coming out. Getting people to care will be tough, even if the movie is a "monster of the week" type story in the style of the early seasons.
August 8:
Pineapple Express
The problem with Pineapple Express isn't that people don't want to see it, it's that I don't think they really understand what it is. As far as I can tell it's fully an action-comedy with an emphasis on the "action" part. Audiences seem to think it's another Apatow stoner comedy. Will the bait be pulled away too soon for the switch to work?
May 2:
Iron Man
This one will be fairly easy. There's a good amount of buzz going around about it and people seem interested. Also, as the first blockbuster of the season, people aren't fatigued yet.
May 9:
Speed Racer
And we run into trouble right here. Ostensibly a kids movie and a crack dream at the same time, Speed Racer doesn't appeal to everyone. Personally I really want to see the epic acid-trippy primary-colour car-orgy being sold here, but others might not be as interested.
May 16:
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Eh, I could take or leave this one, but I'm kind of interested because I absolutely do not remember the plot of Caspian. There is fighting, and this is where the talking mouse Reep-a-cheep shows up I think.
May 23:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
This one is easy, everyone wants to see a new Indiana Jones movie. The real challenge is getting them to wait until Saturday to see it (I work Friday nights).
June 13:
The Incredible Hulk
A few weeks off (the Sex and the City movie is in between) leads us to our first double week. I secretly really want to see the new Hulk movie. Yes the directing will be workman like compared to Ang Lee's Hulk (by far the most visually interesting modern superhero movie regardless of what you felt about the overall product), and the movie is supposedly 1/5th fight scene (set on Younge Street, New York). But that doesn't matter. The 13-year-old inside of me wants to see Hulk Smash.
The Happening
Even harder to sell than The Incredible Hulk, The Happening is the latest from pretentious genre auteur M. Night Shyamalan. I found something to like in three of Shyamalan's major releases (with two being good movies), and I'm interested to see if he can pull his career together.
June 20:
Get Smart
I think that Carrel can make this work. And I have a soft spot for the Rock. Also I don't want The Love Guru to win the weekend.
June 27:
Wall•E
This Pixar animated movie has almost no talking (or characters at all other than the titular Wall•E) for, supposedly, the first third to half of the film. Hopefully I can convince people that to go to a kids movie with no talking. I think the novelty may do it.
July 4:
Hancock
The good-olde July 4th Will Smith movie. Sure this looks stupider than stupid ... but he picks up a whale and throws it into a boat! Woooo! Woooo!
July 11:
Hellboy II
Being sandwiched between Hancock and The Dark Knight isn't the greatest for Hellboy II's chances, either in the box office or for getting my friends to see it with me. The first movie was fine, if unexceptional, but the second doesn't have to be bogged down by introductory origin crap. Also evil Nazis and Cthulhu.
July 18:
The Dark Knight
This one won't be a problem. Even those who didn't like Christopher Nolan's 2005 take on Batman will probably want to see Heath Ledger's final role. Next!
July 25:
X Files: I Want To Believe
The problem here is that a) many people left the X Files with a fairly sour taste in their mouths (people say it was the last two seasons, but it was really the last four or so) b) the show has so much baggage from the mythology episodes that no one knows what's going on and c) many people are unaware this is coming out. Getting people to care will be tough, even if the movie is a "monster of the week" type story in the style of the early seasons.
August 8:
Pineapple Express
The problem with Pineapple Express isn't that people don't want to see it, it's that I don't think they really understand what it is. As far as I can tell it's fully an action-comedy with an emphasis on the "action" part. Audiences seem to think it's another Apatow stoner comedy. Will the bait be pulled away too soon for the switch to work?
Post a Comment 3 comments:
First of all, I'd like to say that this "preview" lost ALL credibility, particularly from the perspective of movies that Dan really wants to see that he will have trouble getting people to watch (though mostly just because we no longer live in the same city), when it left out THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR
Plus Wanted (because the night/day watch movies are amazing...ly Russian), and Babylon AD (for being Children of Men, but with parkour). But not so much Bangkok Dangerous. Also, even if The Happening amazingly does turn out not to be the shittiest movie of the summer, I can guarantee right now that it will be the most pretentious.
Thursday, April 24, 2008 2:33:00 PM
ACKK! I forgot about The Mummy 3.
Wanted seems just absurd enough that it doesn't really need to be seen on the big screen.
Thursday, April 24, 2008 2:47:00 PM
I would definitely go see those with you Dan. sigh.
LB
Friday, May 02, 2008 4:48:00 PM